When Low Milk Supply Feels Like Heartbreak

If you’re struggling with low milk supply, first, I want to say I see you.

I work with many new parents in this exact situation, and I know how layered and painful it can be. You’re not just navigating feeding logistics, you’re also sitting with disappointment, frustration, guilt, and sometimes deep grief.

Low milk supply isn’t just a physical challenge, it’s an emotional one too. And yet, many parents are left to silently carry that emotional load on their own.

It’s Not Just About Milk — It’s About Meaning

Breastfeeding is often wrapped up in our sense of identity and purpose as a new parent. So when things don’t go as planned, whether due to low supply, latch issues, or needing to supplement, it’s common to feel like you've failed somehow.

I hear thoughts like:

• “Why isn’t my body doing what it’s supposed to do?”

• “I must have done something wrong.”

• “Everyone else can breastfeed, what’s wrong with me?”

These thoughts are so common but that doesn’t mean they’re true.

How We Think About Low Supply Matters

One of the tools I often use in therapy is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps us notice and shift the thoughts that keep us stuck in shame or self-blame.

Here are a few helpful ways to start working with these thoughts:

1. Try writing down the thoughts that pop up around feeding — even the really harsh ones. Sometimes just seeing them on paper helps create distance. Ask yourself: Would I say this to a friend in my shoes?

2. Reframing doesn’t mean toxic positivity. It means offering yourself the same grace you’d offer someone else. For example:

   Instead of: “I’m failing at this.”

   Try: “This is so hard, and I’m doing the best I can with what I have.”

3. Sometimes that means a second opinion from a lactation consultant. Sometimes it means shifting to formula or combo-feeding. Sometimes it means just having someone sit with you in the grief of it all. There’s no one right way, just your way, and what helps you feel grounded.

A Space to Talk About It. You’re Invited!

On the first Thursday of each month at 10am EST, I host a virtual support group specifically for parents navigating low milk supply and feeding challenges. It’s a space where you don’t have to explain or defend your choices, where other moms get it, because they’re living it too.

If you’d like to join, click this link. I’d love to have you.

You Are So Much More Than Your Milk Supply

Please remember: how you feed your baby does not define your worth as a parent. You are doing something incredibly hard, and you deserve support, not judgment.

If this resonates with you and you’re looking for more personalized support, I offer therapy sessions for new parents working through feeding grief, postpartum identity shifts, and all the emotions that come with early parenthood.

You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out today.